Level 25 Completed: Congratulations
Happy Birthday Stef!
And there I was, crouching, walking, playing in a world full of colours. No matter where I looked I saw a miracle. It was like waking up from a sleep, but I couldn’t remember ever going to sleep. Everything I saw was new and incredibly interesting. I could sit and just observe this wonderful world indefinitely. My grandma used to call me ‘The Little Philosopher’. Who would have known how right she was?
Last week, about 20 years later, I celebrated my 25th birthday. Woohoo! Another level completed. I thought it would be the perfect time to launch my blog. In the game of life I celebrate a whole deal. I celebrate every day and feel like every second is a miracle, but on my birthday I always feel kind of awkward.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate all the love and kindness coming my way, but my birthday seems to me like any other day. I haven’t done anything particularly worth celebrating. Yes, I ever so skillfully managed to survive another year, but to me the true miracle happened when Creation began. The fact that I got born was just a result of that.
Personally I don’t like to put an awful lot of emotional energy towards positive feelings or events. Maybe because of that I hardly experience negative feelings at all anymore. The thing is that if I consider my birthday to be special, that automatically means that I consider other days to be less special.
“Remember for everything you have gained, you have lost something else. Without the dark you would never see the stars.”
Positivity Equals Negativity
Every positive thing creates of itself a negative thing. Let me elaborate on that with a small example. If you consider being at home, sitting on the couch watching a movie or doing whatever you like doing, to be a great experience. Then you go to work and automatically get the feeling of being a little bored.
As long as you actively make distinctions between what’s fun and boring, you’ll inevitably experience both of these feelings.
It’s not necessarily so that your job becomes boring, especially not if you have a job you love doing. However the point I’m trying to make is that we are always putting labels on everything in life.
Most of us consider sunny days to be more enjoyable than rainy ones. Well, that’s only because we have put a label on it. If we wouldn’t actively label and judge Life, everything that comes at us is nothing less than a miracle. Even the shittiest of days.
We all have things we like doing and things we don’t. At least that’s what any ordinary person would say. As far as I’m concerned that is true, but it falls apart when you realise completely that the one thing creates the other. This applies to everything in life. A distinction of what’s good inevitably creates the other side that would be considered evil.
There is only one exception to this, which is Love, because if you love completely there is no room for hate or fear.
“Light is to darkness what love is to fear;
In the presence of one the other disappears.”
What Do We Know?
The problem we are facing is that we’re so inclined to judge about Creation. We consider one thing to be good and the other to be evil. We think this is better than that and so forth, but how do we know this is the Truth?
You can think about it for a very long time or dismiss my question with an immediate answer, but the Truth is you don’t know. And you will never know anything for sure.
“Yes, but Stef. Without a doubt I know that 1+1 equals 2.”
Yes, mathematically that is correct, but what is mathematics really? Let’s just take a look at the definition;
The abstract science of number, quantity, and space, either as abstract concepts, or as applied to other disciplines such as physics and engineering.
As the definition states it’s an abstract science. Basically mathematics is a concept or a structure used to make sense of the world around us, but it isn’t the world around us. And so, 1+1 equals 2 only applies within this structure.
In Reality 1+1 equals 1.
“Haha Stef, you really ought to be in a mental hospital.”
I know. You’re probably right, but I’m not as stupid as I might sound. This is because fundamentally there are no separate things in the world. You might experience the world with separate things in it, but that’s just a perspective.
Everything we will ever know is a perspective. All I want to do is share my perspective, because it allowed me to see the world in a beautiful way and I would love for others to see it too.
“But Stef, there must be at least one thing that we know for sure. Like the fact that I am alive?”
Yes, that certainly seems to be a fact, right? The problem with this statement is that it has two inherent presumptions that you are probably totally unaware of. Because who is this ‘I’ you are talking about? And secondly, what does being alive really mean?
“Well, that’s very easy to answer. I Am Me! I am this body. I am thinking and doing this. If I were dead and unable to move I wouldn’t be here reading this right?”
See that now you need to use more hypothetical constructs to proof that this ‘I’ really exists. And so I can ask you what is the body? And yet again you will answer with another set of concepts and ideas.
This is the most fundamental problem with using language as a tool to understand the Universe. It only makes sense of itself, in the world of symbolism. The meaning and reality of it is always circular.
Have you ever considered that the word table is not a table? What you call a table, all of your ideas about it, are not the table. It only describes it. And likewise the word ‘I’ is not what you are and also not the ideas that you have attached to it.
What most people call their ‘I’ is their sense of identity. It goes along with the feeling that the world you are experiencing is centered from your point of view. This feeling of ‘I’ that you believe in so much is nothing but a web of beliefs that you inherited from your environment. And I can tell you this, but you probably won’t believe me and you shouldn’t believe me. This is something you have to find out for ‘yourself’, hehe.
What You truly are is not found in ideas or concepts, what You are is an experience and the feeling that it is all happening from your point of view is according to me and the eastern traditions like Buddhism and Hinduism a hallucination.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
What’s Wrong With ‘I’?
There is nothing particularly wrong with it. It’s a very necessary tool for survival. Without the distinction between self and other you would most certainly struggle to survive. Heck, you would be crossing the highway like a headless chicken, but it wouldn’t matter, right? Because there would be no you to experience it.
There is nothing wrong with ‘I”, but it does however create a feeling of being separated from the world, from others. This feeling of being a separate individual creates a whole bunch of suffering and if not on you, you might create it for others.
In the world of today which would seem like a science fiction movie for people a couple of decades ago there are more people experiencing loneliness and anxieties than ever. Despite our wonderful technical accomplishments to be able to communicate with people across the world almost instantly, our sense of being disconnected from the world keeps growing. Can you see the irony in this tragedy?
The problem with the feeling of being separated is that it creates suffering and evil. One can feel lonely, depressed and unimportant or one can feel superior, vengeful and angry. No matter on which side of the spectrum we are, the problem is the line we drew between ourselves and others.
Can you see that if you didn’t have this feeling of being separated you can never feel lonely? And that if you see other people as yourself, you would never in your right mind hurt anyone?
We drew a line between us and the outside world, but the Truth is there is no you and there is no outside world. It is all You! What you call inside and what you call outside are the same. These things are dependant on each other, because without the outside world you wouldn’t know what you were and without you the outside world wouldn’t know what it was. They are in a beautiful harmonic relationship with each other and the completeness of the two opposites is what You really are.
We have acquired ideas of what’s good and evil, healthy and unhealthy, positive and negative and selfish and selfless. We have acquired ideas of who we are, what we’re like and what we’re not like. We experience feelings of guilt, shame, loneliness, lack, anger, depression and fear. But the problem is that all of these things are just ideas, constructions of the mind. They don’t really exist, like the idea of a table doesn’t exist. And they all branch from the illusion that we are somehow an entity locked up inside a bag of skin.
“We clip each other’s wings, and put each other in cages: then we spend a lifetime wishing we were with someone who can fly.”
You Are Perfect
You are absolutely, indescribably and explicitly beautiful. You are perfect in every sense of the word, but yet you don’t experience yourself that way, do you?
You feel like there is always something to improve. You are either too fat, too insecure, too selfish, too scared, too negative or too sad. Whatever it is, this is total bullshit. On what criteria are you judging yourself? The ones you acquired from your environment?
If that’s the case you’re going to be unhappy for the rest of your life. You can never uphold to anyone elses standard. Even if you could, you would be living a life that isn’t even yours. Live the life you want to live, whatever that might be. And don’t give a crap about anyone saying you’re ought to live in another way.
Also, you’re not able to judge yourself properly. To be able to judge yourself properly you would have to step out of the bubble that you call you. And if you were able to do that, you’d see nothing less than infinite beauty.
Can you look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself, what a beautiful being you are? And not in some kind of narcissistic manner, not the kind where you tell yourself you’re beautiful to hide all the ugly aspects of yourself. No, I mean the kind where you accept and love All That You Are.
Can you love the shittiest and darkest parts of you? If you can’t you will never be truly happy. If you judge yourself, if you put labels on yourself that don’t exist, you can’t be at peace.
If you have trouble with this I would like you to do an exercise for me. Next time you are at home, go and find that mirror, look in it and just look at yourself. Then love yourself like you’re the most beautiful being imaginable. And notice that any thought that comes up, any single thing that wants to interfere you from feeling this love is a lie you told yourself.
You are Perfection embodied, you are God in disguise.
“I have come to drag you out of yourself and take you in my heart. I have come to bring out the beauty you never knew you had and lift you like a prayer to the sky.”